it's just my little voice.

Christmas 2009

Sat, 26 Dec 2009 21:01:39 GMT

It's nice to know that some things never change.

Yesterday

Christmas 2007

This year we've been blessed with the coolest present EVER: Nicolas Aaden. :) My cousin is a mommy! I don't know about you, but a new addition to the family is pretty much the best Christmas present. Unless you got a snuggie.*

Congratulations, Jenny!!

ALSO. My cousin (new cousin. not just born two days ago cousin, but another cousin not the cousin that just had a baby cousin which'd be weird because this cousin is a boy how many times can i say cousin in this parenthetical insert? my cousincousincousin

... phew)

got a ukulele! SO FUN. My family is so fun. Crying kiddies and all. I love you, guys. Thanks for your gifts and your talent and your laughs and your new babies and your music... and your fun. :)

I hope you all had a wonderful day yesterday, whatever you did or however you celebrated. ♥

-------------------
(*I'm kidding!! GOSH!
... It's pretty close though, right?)

Thu, 24 Dec 2009 04:44:53 GMT

2010, the closer you get the clearer you look. I'm nearsighted, that might have something to do with it. I'd like us to learn Hebrew together. Maybe go surfing somewhere at some point. I'd really really like to run the Chicago marathon for a really really great cause. I've wanted to do that one for a long time, 2010, and I really think you're gonna be the one to do it with me.

I'd also like us to own a harmonica. Yeah, I recycled that one from last year too. 2009, you were slackin'!

My silly little resolutions aside, let me be a sincere me for a minute, 2009. You weren't so bad, really. You were actually kind of cool. Maybe not to Lady Woods. Or those darling little Eights, bless their hearts. But to me, bless you, you were pretty chill. Like my 5th grade teacher, Mrs. V. She was awesome. Especially when she made us chocolate chip pancakes in class one morning. Yeah, I know right?

You made me realize a whole bunch of stuff. I realized I'm stronger than I ever thought I was. I've realized that you can wake up and make the day whatever you want it to be. I've realized that my worst days aren't even half as bad as someone else's best day halfway around the world (or even right across town). I've learned that I could not have done any of this by myself. That there is Somebody right here guiding me through every moment of my life. I've realized that I can't be arrogant enough to think that I could've come up with all of these magnificent things on my own... and that I could've gone through all of the not so magnificent things on my own either.

I've learned that, by God, I am blessed. Because I have my family. And my health. And an education. And food on my plate today. And you.

Yes, YOU.

You inspire me to be better everyday. Thank you for being there. Thanks for listening and reading. Thank you for your thoughts and even considering me in the scope of your life. And for accepting me for who I am ie the girl who's waaay too giggly when she's had one too many drinks (meaning ONE drink, I guessss.)

So here's to you. And an amazing 2010. No wait. Here's to you making an amazing 2010. For yourself. And someone else. And someone else's someone else. Heck, a bunch of someone elses, how does that sound? Let's make this a kick awesome 2010 for each other. I know I'll be working my tail off making it awesome for you. Because, gosh darn it, I freakin' love ya.

I'll try my best to stay connected, however I can! thecowboycliche got me a suh-weet discount on a paid account (thank you! <3) and it'd be a shame to let it go to waste.

Merry Christmas! Happy Holidays. And a happy new year!

Cheers!
(giggles)

25 things.

Tue, 18 Aug 2009 02:25:26 GMT

This fad completely faded by the time I found time to do this. (ie, now) Does that make me less of a lemming?

Tagged by luckyrun eons ago! Better late than never, I suppose. :)

1. God has blessed me with the most amazing family. They are so loving and supportive. I feel the most at peace when I’m with them. Unless I’m engaged in side splitting laughter, that is. Which is actually pretty often in their presence.

2. My aunts used to call me Johnny when I was little. I’m pretty sure it had something to do with the fact that I couldn’t pronounce my R’s correctly? And would say A-john when people asked me for my name? I think? Not sure though.

3. My friends are such an inspiring, talented group of people and I admire and respect them like you wouldn’t believe. (They put up with me, I think that’s pretty amazing in itself.) They’ve taught me soooo much and I look forward to the remarkable things that they will share with the rest of the world.

4. One of my dreams is to sing in a choir under the direction of Eric Whitacre. It doesn’t really matter what we sing. We could sing rounds of Row Row Row Your Boat for all I care. (Ha! How hilariously epic would that be?)

5. When I was younger, my sister and I used to choreography (AND pretend to perform) ice skating routines in our living room. Yeah, we were kinda nutty. But I like to think we both turned out okay.

Although.

6. When I was 12, I broke my ankle when I was figure skating for real for real. I had to have surgery. The screw that they used to realign the bone is still there.

7. I’m a 9 on the enneagram. (To a T.) And an INFP. (I could possibly argue this one.) We were required (?) to do these tests in high school. (Yeah, no idea.)

8. I tend to over-employ parenthetical inserts when I write. (What, they’re fun?)

9. I carry a spare notebook with me almost everywhere I go. I document everything. Always in pencil. But I never erase anything, I just like the way it feels when it goes on paper.

10. There are really only two things that irk me beyond reason: witnessing people doing inconsiderate things and seeing the word “definitely” spelled incorrectly.

11. I have an amazing memory for faces and a not so amazing memory for names. Which often leads to awkward situations. Which is basically the story of my life.

12. I’m a girly girl save for three significant exceptions: (1) I don’t like shopping. I only go when I need something, and when I go, I’m in and out. (2) I can count the number of pairs of shoes that I own on one hand. (3) I really really dislike talking on the phone. I don't like the sound of my voice, so I can only imagine what I sound like when that's the only sensory stimulation that someone is getting from me.

13. I was the keyboardist/singer in an all girl band in junior high. We wrote our first song over the phone. And made our own videos. We also set up our own interviews. But we never really performed anywhere. Needless to say, the band is no longer together.

14. I’m a really simple person. Simple probably means boring to most people. I feel most at ease in completely non-extravagant situations. I love taking long walks. I love sitting out on summer afternoons with a good book. I’m allergic to drama. If given the choice to go out or stay in with my family or my closest friends, I will opt to stay in 99% of the time. That 1% will almost always involve wine and live music.

Although!

15. When I attended a swim meet in California three summers ago, I was invited to party with an Olympic Gold medalist. And I went. And it was an awkwardly hilarious and equally amazing experience that I will forever remember. (for example. we bought a couple of cases of beer and met him out at the hotel lobby and when we handed it over his dad pulled up in his car at that exact moment and saw us five girls handing his son the Heineken and looked at us and then at his son with a look of reprimand on his face and ahahahwow.)

16. There are two words in the English language that I can’t STAAAND. If you know me well enough, you know these words. And you probably use them purposefully in my presence just to see me cringe.

17. I sneeze in twos. And I usually try to disguise them to sound like coughs because I’m fairly confident that my real sneeze would scare over half of you.

18. I fiddle with my earlobes when I’m nervous or uneasy in conversation.

19. I’m a sucker for musicians. I especially have a thing for cellists. Honestly. If you’re a cellist, you’re in. Easily.

(Oh shush, you.)

20. If John Legend asked me to marry him tomorrow, I’d say yes.

21. No matter where I am or how I’m feeling or what situation I’m in, if Sir Mix A Lot’s “Baby Got Back” comes on, I WILL burst into a fit of laughter.

22. I’m painstakingly shy around people I don’t know very well. I either try to overcompensate by being overly outgoing or I just don’t say anything at all. It really depends on how I’m feeling the day that you meet me. If you catch me on my quiet days, I probably come off as really snooty. :(

23. Thanks to my Dad, I know every Led Zeppelin song by melody. But not by name.

24. I think that jealousy is the most useless, wasteful emotion ever. I’m also a Scorpio. Thus, I don’t believe in horoscopes. Even though I still read them?

25. I agree with Henry and even contend that Rach 2 is one of the most beautiful pieces of music ever composed. Period. Though Sibelius’ Violin Concerto gives it a run for its money. So does Madonna’s “Like a Virgin” (False. Are you still with me?) If this list didn’t give you an (odd) idea of who I am, then listen to the Rach. It depicts a better picture than words can, I think.

and AHHHHHHHHHH, ya gotta keep tryin'

Tue, 04 Aug 2009 03:16:26 GMT

My Goddaughter cracks me up SO MUCH.

And she started in the right key! HAHAHAHHAHA, I love her.

Young at Heart

Tue, 28 Jul 2009 02:13:26 GMT

I just called the number on the back of my credit card. TWICE. because I am so amused by the voice automated... thing. I had to put it on speakerphone and parade it around to my entire family because, 'Hey! Check this out. When the voice automated computer lady... thing... asks, This information is correct, riiiight? and I say, Right!! it makes this fun bell noise and takes me to the next voice automated menu... thing... and the cycle begins again!' All this talk about (and actually, uh, DOING) grown up things just makes me want to be a kid again, you know? Who says I can't still act like a kid? Everyone else? Oh. Oh well! *throws confetti made out of receipts and scrap paper*

Speaking of "everyone else" (totally didn't set that up, i swear. i was actually thinking really hard about how i was going to connect my previous paragraph with this one and then realized i had used "everyone else" in the last paragraph and bingo, there it was. i made it seem effortless though, didn't i?**) I watched "Knowing" this past weekend. Have you? No? DON'T.

The beginning showed great promise (i sound like a 2nd grade teacher. "your child showed great promise, Miss Smithannjobocker, except that yesterday she put glue in my shoe, and cut off a piece of Suzy Q's hair and glued it to John Joe's chair... and ahhh i don't wannaa be a teacher anymooooore.")

Riiight. So. The beginning started out pretty okay! Then near the end it was like somone poured a "let's just scream really loudly and maybe we'll fool people into thinking I'm being dramatic" concoction into Nicolas Cage's drink and then the same guy who poured this "let's just scream really loudly and maybe we'll fool people into thinking I'm being dramatic" stuff into Nic's root beer (because let's face it, kids. people in hollywood drink root beer.) decided to hold the director captive in the studio's basement but then dropped the key while he was going for a surf and was like, "OH CRUD! (because let's face it, kids. people in hollywood use the word crud) whadumigonnadooo?!" so he pulled some random kid off the street and was like, "You." And the kid was like, "AHHH, WHAT?!" and the guy goes, "FINISH THE FILMMMMM. I'll give you a lollipop!" And the kid was like, "I want ice cream!!" So the guy buys the kid some ice cream and the kid, who turns out to have some weird sci-fi obsession, finishes it (the film, i mean. although he probably finished the ice cream too) and yessss all is well.

Or NOT.

Oh. You liked the movie?

Sorry. :( That'll show me to rant about things.

Like when I mouthed off about Vanessa Hudgens in front of a nine year old. I should've known better. For the sake of me knees.

I'm just kidding, that didn't actually happen. Could've though.

**(aaaand i just realized those of you who haven't seen the movie TOTALLY won't understand the "everyone else" reference. oh well. *picks up confetti made out of receipts and scrap paper and rethrows it in the air*)

♥

Whitaaccreee!

Sat, 11 Jul 2009 16:30:39 GMT

Ha, so you know all that talk about music blah blah uniting people that barely know each other? I think it does a pretty good job of uniting people from all over the WORLD that have never met before too.

The result totally makes the embarrassment of my lone self screeching in the basement to participate in this worth it. (Whoa, loaded sentence. Too tired to attempt to fix it.)

Anyhoo. I've been really bad about staying connected, I'm sorry. :( But I'm still around and I still read, I promise. Hope you all have been splendid!

we be harmonizin'

Thu, 14 May 2009 20:34:12 GMT

The other night, Andrew, my island boyfriend (long story don't ask. actually, it's a really short story, but it's silly and not really worth taking up journal entry space for oh! like i'm doing right now. i will say, though, that it involves being silly and drinking green beer and singing songs from Grease and wow, is this parenthetical insert still going?)

ANYWAY, he so sweetly offered to cook me dinner. So we invited a bunch of peeps over and after we ate, we decided to break out the ole guitar for a post meal jam sesh. Gaby, Grace and I pulled out this one tune from church. Since we all knew it, it was a go! Kinda. Sorta. Well. If our first take is any indication...

My personal favorite is Uyen and Dmitry on percussion. I mean, if you ever need to find a beat, don't ask them to help you.

bahahahaha just kidding? I love you guys. Really, I do. :)

Everywhere I go, God surrounds me with amazing people. That make me laugh like a hyena. But that's the best. So thank You.

And you too. ♥

Thanks for the memory.

Fri, 08 May 2009 19:56:14 GMT

5.5 years, 167 credit hours, 2 degrees, several late nights in the lab, several more late nights into early mornings in practice room after practice room after..., seven chorus concerts (seven? really?!), three Honors Recitals, a few great professors, a handful of awesome friends (plus a couple of utterly amazing ones) and a multitude of memories later:

I'm officially a Loyola University Chicago college graduate. Somehow I don't feel like everything we've been through fits into a little folder and a 2 hour ceremony. But in the end? It still feels pretty good. :)

PS.

Tue, 05 May 2009 21:37:03 GMT

HAHA A friend of mine just shared this with me via facebook. Because he knows how much I love them both and thought I'd find it amusing. He was right.

How cool, one of my favorite artists (ie John Mayer) is listening to one of my favorite artists (ie Amy Kuney).

I write about music a lot, don't I? Sorry. I'd get a new hobby but I fumble when I try talking about other things.

Tale from my living room.. at home :)

Tue, 05 May 2009 21:22:05 GMT

Funny little story. One of my favorite memories from the past four months on the island. Grab a muffin and sit back. Don't like muffins? Sorry. Find something else then, gosh! You're the celery person, aren't you? You're the one who managed to escaped evolution, aren't you? (Thanks, Diana. You learn something new everyday!)

So you know Nick, the incredibly nice and funny, wish-I-had-his-talent guitarist I mentioned a few entries back? I was setting up the keyboard before practice one day and when I finally got it to turn on, I started poking around and I played the opening chords of this song.

"What is that?" he asked as he pulled out his guitar.

"Oh, I was just..." I shrugged, feigning cluelessness. "I don't kn..."

"Oh whatever, you don't know. Of course you know. Play it again."

So I did. He gave it a thought for a minute, then nodded. "Right on." And he started singing the verse.

A squeal of enthusiasm escaped me. "You know your Sara Bareilles!"

"She's touring with Tony Lucca."

Of course! Of course. I knew that.

"I was just listening to her the other day. I was trying to pick out a few songs, but she writes in such weird keys." (He's right. She totally does.) "Do you know... how does that one go... love, love, love......"

"Oh, yeah! Yeah." Poke.

"Some of her other stuff is creepy, though! Do you know that Fairytale one?"

"Uhhh..." Poke. Nope. Poke. Ahh there it is.

He chuckled. "What do you do, sit at the piano all day and figure out how to play all of her stuff?"

"Yes, because I have the time and capability to do that here." We're not sarcastic with each other at all, no.

"You know," he added. "She does a cover of Dock of the Bay."

Yes! Yes, I knew that too. Poke.

He glanced over at my hands. "What key?"

"I'm in G."

"Ha! Okay. That's a little high for me but you have a go." His hands fiddled the guitar neck up and down a few times and then, like he always does, he just went into it. Just started playing with me like he'd been playing it for years. So naturally, I fell asleep. (False. Stay with me, people.) I started singing along. Man, of all the improv jam sessions I've ever had (Oh, right... NONE) that was by far the coolest. Cool. So cool. I love that about music, man. It instantly connects you to people, you know? It's universal. I love it! I love it.

I expressed my sadness in the fact that he and nearly the entirely choir are leaving. What a great group of people, I'm blessed to have had the opportunity to meet and sing with them at church. Such a great outlet. Didn't think I'd find it there, to be honest. But it broke my heart even more when Nick got sad himself. All it took was a, "I'm going to miss this" and I was gone. Tears! Tears. He's honestly one of the most talented musicians... no, people... I've ever met (though he'd be the last to even think it) and I've learned so soo so much in the couple of weeks I got to play with him.

Oh but wait! Here's the zinger. (Zinger? That's a KFC sandwich isn't it? Why do I always revert back to food in these entries?) Turns out, he'll be in Chicago getting his doctorate at the University OF Chicago and, well, what do you know? I'm from Chicago. So all of the jam sessions that we weren't able to get in (Oh, right... ALL OF THEM) I'm adamant about making them up when we're both in the city.

The real point of this entry, though? Before I left, he gave me a $#!^load of music. Like Jason Mraz's entire freaking discography? Yeah. For serious. Over 1GB of JMraz music alone. Name one of his songs and I'll give you $10 if I don't have it. ... I'd put down more to make it more dramatic, but I'd feel guilty about lying about having more than I have in my pocket. I could raise you 11 cents and the dandelion that my Goddaughter picked for me this morning, but that's about it.

Anyway, he gave me a bunch of tunes I haven't heard. From Tony Lucca. Ernie Halter. David Choi. James Morrison. Marc Broussard. David Ryan Harris. Van Morrison. And, and. Yeah. Yeeahhhh. I finally had time to listen to some of the stuff he gave me last night and OMG I'm still in auditory HEAVENNN.

So here. I'll give you a taste of some. And if you like, then go ahead and indulge and get your own slice! Or stick, I guess. If we're talking celery, you celery person, you.

Am I still on this celery thing?

10 tunes + 1

(If you decide to listen to nothing then we're not friends anymore. I'm kidding! Kidding. At the very least check out Marc Broussard's "Let Me Leave." What a voice. What a song. Chill inducing, guys. Chill inducing. Though Nick has impeccable music taste, so everything I uploaded is great. So great. And I'm not even halfway through everything he gave me yet.)

Back to the city again tonight. I spend too much time there. Still never enough though. :)

Love & Peace ♥

I'm blessed.

Wed, 29 Apr 2009 08:25:02 GMT

Not to sound all emo and stuff. (That's right, right? Emo's the right word to use there, right? I'm not hip to all the terms that are popping up everywhere, FML. No that's not right... Or could it be? Anyhoo. (That's the old people way of saying "anyway", incase you didn't know.)) And not to say that I haven't met a couple of pretty incredible people on the island. Because I have.

But after four months of feeling disconnected from the rest of the world, and from myself at times, goodness it was nice to be with people that make me feel like I fit in somewhere, you know? And it was nice not to have to try. It was nice just to be. In a lot of ways (or in the ways that matter, at least) it was like I never left.

Tonight was great. Just great. And exactly what I needed. And I have my amazing friends to thank. I love you guys. :)

Fri, 17 Apr 2009 05:14:18 GMT

I'm currently sitting in classroom 4 going over Anatomy questions for our final coming up. It's getting late and I'm getting kind of zany. (I'm not even sure if that word appropriately goes there, but we're gonna roll with it.) The guy studying three seats to my left is on gchat and quietly laughing up a storm. The kid two rows ahead of me is chowing down on his third Subway cookie. (I'm getting studying done, I promise.)

Cookies are so good, man. Especially chocolate chip ones. Actually, just give me the chocolate chips. Or put all of the chocolate together and give me one big slab of chocolate. Or mini eggs, oh my gosh. Mom has informed me that she has a bag of Cadbury Mini Eggs waiting for me when I get home. Home! Home, you're so close I can almost smell you. Almost. But right now I smell chocolate.

Mmm, chocolate. I've always wondered why stuff that's bad for you tastes so good. Like french fries? And cheesecake. You know? It's so much easier to gravitate towards the bad things. I mean, who reaches for celery sticks? (Oh you do? Sorry. *cough*weirdo*cough* I mean, you're awesomeee!)

Even outside the realm of food. It's so much easier to talk bad things about someone. It feels good sometimes, too. It's so much easier to be negative and bring someone down and say hurtful things. That's just how gravity works. It's a struggle to avoid. Heck, even for me. I have to constantly remind myself to find the good things in life. To find light and truth and happiness and positive things. Because it's hard. I get crabby and moody and uninspired and sometimes I spend too much of my energy focusing on what I don't like about myself and other people. But when I sit and really think about it? I find peace in knowing that I'm just someone trying to find my happy place in this world. And that all of us (yes, even you, boy on gchat whose laughter is gradually getting louder) have the capacity to be happy. In whatever we do.

And so I wish for all of you, that no matter where you are, I hope that you gravitate towards things that make you happy and inspired and courageous. And I hope that you continue to spread the light that you have. And that you surround yourself with people who are positive and help you see the beauty in you and in everything that you possess. People who accept your flaws. Because we're all flawed. And that's okay.

So there. That's my little inbetween studying rant. I hope it came out coherent this first time around, but I just had to touch base for a minute because the last thing I want is be disconnected from all of you lovely people who continually inspire me to be a better person. Thank you I love you and I will see all (most?) of you soon!

Ps: You're looking at (an entry written by) the new pianist/co-director for the "choir" here. I've been playing (er, plunking) for the past few masses now. And it feels so amazing that I don't even care that I have absolutely positively no idea what I'm doing three quarters of the time. Ohh man.

Chicago, I'm almost there.

Sun, 29 Mar 2009 05:32:56 GMT

I got to skype with the family tonight when everyone was at my grandparent's house. Oh BOY, was it refreshing. I'm surprised I didn't burst out into tears. But I was too busy laughing and smiling and smiling and oh dear, I'm a goob. So sue me. Or sue Cadbury for making such heavenly chocolate. I believe this is my second Cadbury reference in under a month. Someone is excited for Easter, can you tell?

My Goddaughter kept yelling, I LOVE YOU I MISS YOU so I made a little heart with my hands and she gave me that big ole heart shape with her arms. Or an M, I guess, if you're a Village People fan. Regardless, she wins! Siiighh I love her and all of my cousins and all of you and oh gosh, I'll be home so soon. Sending you love from 2413 miles away. ♥

PS: My bus driver tonight has really kick ass taste in music, I say, since he was listening to this.

Music Speak.

Tue, 24 Mar 2009 04:43:32 GMT

'member how I was all scared and whiny and blah blah and stuff about not being in the know? Count on me to find someone here to help keep me in the know. This past weekend, my dear friend Gaby and I stuck around after choir practice to talk to Nick, the guy who plays guitar for the group and who is incredibly nice and incredibly funny and, oh yeah, incredible on his instrument. I'd be satisfied if I had half his talent; I could totally get by, man.

He asked if either of us knew any Jason Mraz tunes and I said, um, YES? So he let me stumble with my flimsy words and melodies around his mad skills. (Note to self: Hm, learn the actual words to Lucky and stop making up your own?)

Then we chatted about music. He asked if I'd ever heard of David Choi and started playing this neat acoustic version of Forever (and then told me I sound just like Kina Grannis and all I could do was chuckle. Gratefully. But I chuckled all the same.)

He then broke out into Why Georgia and I confessed my undying love for John Mayer and he told me how he met John at a clinic and how he was a terribly un-nice person and then I gave myself momentary amnesia and...

And THEN! he gave me a few things to listen to. So! I did. And now I'm spreading the love because I can. Plus it's better than spreading germs.

If you haven't heard of 'em, I hope you enjoy as much as I have been.

Eric Hutchinson [Try for size]
Marc Broussard
Tony Lucca

Your turn! What choo got?

Friday update.

Sat, 21 Mar 2009 05:16:01 GMT

You know those hand dryers in the bathroom? The ones that claim they're keeping the environment green by eliminating paper towel waste, even though they're just using up electricity anyway? I've always wondered -- in the non-automatic ones anyway -- who the heck decides how long it should run? Because my hands are never dry after one go around. 98.68% of the time (I double checked my math, don't worry) I have to press it again. Whoever decides this either has really small hands or is satisfied with having damp hands upon exiting the bathroom. Weirdo.

Oh, hi! I'm bullet pointing today because if all I can think about is hand-dryers, then I clearly won't be able to formulate coherent sentences and para... paragraphs. Okay, we're good.

+ We've been learning about the heart and hemodynamics all this week. I love it. It's so interesting. It's one of the subjects that compelled me to even think about studying medicine to begin with, actually. And the woman who teaches it is great. I feel like I'm learning. Who'da thunk it??

+ I went into the lab the other morning and got to reach into the chest of a cadaver and hold a lung in my hand. A flippin' lung, people. And then I almost flippin' dropped it. We dissect the heart on Tuesday. With all due respect? I AM SO FLIPPIN' EXCITED.

+ I learned how to take Blood Pressure yesterday. My mom taught me once before. Or twice. Or five times, I think. I should remember it this time though. (Thanks anyway, though, Mom :) You'll be happy to know that my blood pressure is surprisingly normal. Aaall right.

+ No really. It was a good week this week. A great week, actually. It's amazing what surrounding yourself with good people can do to your spirit. Stay away from negativity, people. It's bad for your head. And for your eyes too, but only if you sit too close to the TV.

+ What?

+ This evening, I went with a group of friends to dinner to celebrate a birthday. We had mango pie (I know, right? I. KNOW. Uh-mazing.) Our dates drank green beer as we serenaded them with songs from The Little Mermaid.

+ You think I'm lying?

+ Okay, I am. We also sang songs from Grease.

+ Thus, Sunday: we karaoke.

+ Chicago: I will see you soon. :)

+ Friends: why you gotta be so talented and amazing?

+ You: I love. ♥

PS: Freakin' A!

Roseau

Tue, 17 Mar 2009 22:15:15 GMT

Hello my sweet little peeps!

Before I dive into it, I just wanted to thank each and everyone of you for your encouraging emails and messages and insight on my last entry. You all are so much cooler than actual peeps. You know, those little, colorful, animal shaped marshmallows? I was never a fan of those, to be honest. I was more of a Cadbury Mini Egg girl myself. Those are SO AWESOME.

But I digress.

It wasn't my intention to worry anyone. I'm just working on honing in on my little voice (ba dum ching). It's always hard to come face to face with exactly how you're feeling, but I've learned how therapeutic it can be. I have all of you to thank for helping me appease my worries. You all are amazing and I'm blessed. I wish I could just fold you all in my pocket and carry you around in a little compact case so whenever I feel down I can just open you up and put your little circular feet in the circular peg and have you spin around while you're cooking breakfast in your tiny little kitchen. Just like Polly Pocket. The original Polly Pocket. Remember her?? Awww man, those were the days. We still have a box full of Polly Pockets at home. My goddaughter is a huge fan. It's amazing how much time she can occupy playing with those when she comes over. It's like facebook for toddlers.

But I really super digress.

Last Saturday, I took a road trip to Roseau with a group of friends. On our way there, we tried our best to keep ourselves entertained and our attention diverted from the roller coaster of a ride into the city. Our discussions were momentarily halted by the emergence of some cool reggae jam on the radio. So we started grooving along. Until we actually started listening to the words. All of a sudden we hear: If you wanna be my lover, you have to be 18 and over. And we all just busted out in laughter and held each other until tears welled up in our eyes.

But I really REALLY super digress.

Roseau, in case you didn't know, is the capital of Dominica. If you ever find yourself on a massive Caribbean cruise ship, (a) don't lean over too far and (b) you may just happen to stop here. One ship did, actually. Huge ship. HUUUGE! We all contemplated the idea of sneaking on somehow, but the idea flatlined pretty quickly when we remembered this little thing called, oh yeah, med school? And we're in it. Instead, we went to the street markets and shops. We girls also stopped by a quaint little dress store, but unfortunately walked out empty handed. I just didn't have $70 to fork over for a sundress. Buuut, I did pick up a little something something for my family. They'll just have to wait until I come back to see it though. Oooooh the suspense!

We fit in like tourists but hey, people, we live here! So it was fun blending into the crowd and taking on dual identities. Like Superman. Or freakin' Spidey. What a stud.

Speaking of studs, Ricky got into Northwestern. I am so unbelievably excited for him. And for me. (But mostly for him. :) Because now, if ever I have the urge to sing in a really amazing choir under a really amazing conductor, I won't have to look very hard. Furthermore, when he becomes really super duper famous and is up on his podium accepting some really really super duper prestigious award, I will have the unabashed right to shout out from my front row center seat and shamelessly brag that when we were young and naive undergrads, I, in fact, scored higher than he did on our Intro to Conducting final. Mwahahahhaaha.

What I'm really trying to say is: I'm proud of you, kid. And all the rest of you too, for all of the remarkable things that you do.

I love you, I love you, and you too. And thanks. :) Until next time, my sweet little Cadbury Mini Eggs. ♥

Clarity.

Fri, 13 Mar 2009 03:48:54 GMT

I just found out this morning that one of my closest friends left the island just a couple of days ago. I can't wrap my head around the fact that she isn't around anymore. She didn't tell anyone, except one of the guys in our lab group. And when she didn't show up 20 minutes into the lab, he just went ahead and told us. And then I just got sad. Really sad.

My heart goes out to her. I probably know EXACTLY how she felt prior to leaving. I'm not going to hide behind a smile and say that the thought hadn't crossed my mind. Because it has. Many times. The same family that is supporting me back home is the same family that makes me want to go back home. And all of my friends. And you. And everything. Just home and everything about it. It's a constant struggle day in and day out. So I sat down and had a talk with another good friend of mine. She's been my rock since I've been here and I honestly don't know what I'd do if our paths hadn't crossed. I'd probably be a royal mess.

So we sat and talked and she set me straight. Like she always does. She helped me see the challenge that God is giving me in putting me here. And I can't pack up now. Not yet. If He's calling me to something else, then He'll do it in His own time. Like He always does. But there's a reason I'm here. And as much as I just want to go home, and as much as I get soo soo sad some days, this is what I want. To be a doctor. To be able to go out there and be God's instrument and heal people in their time of most need. And I'm not sure I can deal with the what if of it all if I just left it all behind, you know?

All riiight, that was kind of heavy. Let me be lighthearted for a minute. The other day, I finally got around to asking the kid who plays piano at church where he stows his keyboard. And I fiiinally got my hands on it yesterday! So my friends and I sat out on the Subway deck for a little while and jammed it up. (And by Subway deck I mean the restaurant Subway. Not a subway train subway. Right? Since there aren't any trains in Dominica. I don't think so anyway? Okay, just making sure we're on the same page. :)

Here -- for clarity's sake. Plus it's pretty. Unless you're like Ate Joy (hehe) and you don't like eating outside. Then it's probably a nightmare. So just close your eyes for a minute:

It'd be an understatement to say that getting to play again made me incredibly happy. Take incredibly happy and multiply that by 3902.4, and I'm pretty sure you'll get the level of my happiness. That sounds so stupid! But it's the little things, you know? The little things make me happy. Unless we're talking about ants. The really little ones? Those don't make me too happy. Especially when they just come outta nowhere and you're like, Whut? How'd you get up in here, I'm just tryin' to go about my business y'all!!

'hem. WOW. Where was I? Oh yeah. I think I forgot how to play everything I know. Or knew. And I had a hard time finding middle C. Just kidding. That's not funny. But really. My friends were like, "Play SOMETHING." And I stared down for two seconds and thought, wow. It's taking entirely too long for me to come up with something. Liszt would be none too pleased that I forgot his stinkin' etude. Too many brain synapses occupying other things now, man. Sorry. But it was nice to get my hands on it (the keyboard, I mean. Not... the brain synapses?). I'm going to have to play around more often, I think. I just hope he doesn't mind. (The guy who plays piano at church, I mean. Not Liszt. Darn you, pronouns AND your silly little rules!)

Tuesday morning.

Tue, 10 Mar 2009 14:26:34 GMT

Since finding out that my family actually reads this (!) I've decided to dedicate more of my spare minutes to keeping you all in the know. Even though I myself don't even feel like I'm in the know. I feel like I'm in a bubble. I'm terrified of landing at O'Hare in a little over a month (!!) and not knowing the song that's playing on the overhead speakers. That's a pretty pathetic fear, but it's legit guys. It's legit. I did happen across Chris Botti and a guitar-less John Mayer (what?!?) on TV last night. But that's probably such old news to you by now, isn't it? Isn't it?! Ahhhh!

Ahem. Anyway. Since we don't have class until later today, I was supposed to sleep in? But I got up early to play tennis with a group of friends. It was fun. Especially after I served one and screamed in delight at how good (or unbad, rather) it was. And Uyen was all, "Wow that was a good one! Long and hard and fast and..."

Too early?

(Oh. Hi, mom!) I'm probably a shade or two darker now. Didn't think that was possible. But I learned a little bit today. And I can keep the ball in the court! Most of the time. Some of the time. That is, when I can hit the ball. I think dad would be proud. (*waves*)

All right. I have a couple of hours before my day officially starts. I think I'll ditch the granola bar this morning and make a real breakfast today. Pancakes, mmm. I'm excited. Too bad I used up all my spare exclamation points in my first paragraph. Oh well.

Only in movies? I don't think so!

Thu, 05 Mar 2009 12:00:44 GMT

A friend of mine shared this with me, and I thought I'd spread the love.

Not gonna lie -- I teared up like a goober. But I hope it brightens your start to the day like it did mine.

♥

Fat Tuesday.

Wed, 25 Feb 2009 01:56:18 GMT

Wow. I haven't really written in a while. I can feel my fingers quivering in fear. How do I not sound like a complete moron? How to construct good sentences. (obviously, not like that...) I'm hoping you'll ignore the fact that I've completely forgotten how to properly update you in this thing and just take sheer delight in the fact that I'm giving you a little update from my neck of the woods. Or jungle. Very deciduous area. yes.

I had a (much anticipated) three day weekend. We don't get many of those here. Here, Dominicans celebrate a holiday appropriately called Carnivale. I wasn't sure what it was either. But after inquiring about it to several of the bus drivers who so kindly take me home at night, I've concluded that the celebration has dual purpose: a celebration of their emancipation and, for the religious types, their equivalent of Fat Tuesday. Except here they just party all weekend. They know how to get it done, people. They know how to get it done.

Earlier this weekend, I went to the beach to watch the sunset. The waves were a bit rough, so we went to the pool afterwards to try to get our mind off school. At least for the night. Guys, I don't think I've ever seen so many stars in the sky. Almost every space was occupied with a star. It was... wow. Beautiful.

I woke up this morning feeling the after effects of said three day weekend: groggy (from sleeping in too much, apparently) and to the sound of the perpetual crickets outside my window. I think they're crickets, anyway. Now that I think about it, I'm not quite sure what they are. But they're loud. And they go at it aaaall day and night. Making the noise, I mean, not... oh nevermind.

Spent the entire day going over today's lectures. We learned about the popliteal fossa and cardiac muscle. Not that you care. There goes this paragraph!

And then I joined some friends for their traditional KFC Wing Night. I use the term traditional loosely, though, since KFC just opened up a couple of weeks ago. Big deal, friends. Big deal. I've been pretty much eating Subway everyday for the past month. And when something refreshingly familiar pops up, I'm all over it. Especially now, since I've been at the point where I literally, um, drool all over my keyboard when I'm Skyping with my sister during dinner and she's downing some amazingly delicious home cooked meal and I'm with my second cold cut sandwich of the day. Not anymore sistahh! I still have yet to find anything around here that's close in equivalence to Portillo's back home, but maybe that's a good thing.

Anyway, on our walk back to campus some dude was peeing on the sidewalk. PEEING. On the sidewalk. I guess that's something you can see anywhere. I don't know why that was such a novel thing to me, especially being from Chicago. He did mutter an excuse me as we walked by. At least they're polite about it here.

If I can be honest for a second (not that I haven't been in the last few paragraphs. there really was someone peeing on the sidewalk...) these first few steps have been pretty tough. Being thrusted into a completely new environment. Away from my framily (friends and family, made it up) My music! (i'm too shy to sing in my apartment.. my neighbors would definitely be able to hear me and i just can't deal with that!!) Having to adjust to a completely new lifestyle. Make new friends. On top of that being challenged academically and having to adopt an entirely new study system. All the while everyone around is so intense and sometimes just so, unfriendly and inconsiderate and ahhh!

It's been hard. And it gets lonely. Overall, it's been a definite challenge. And I tend to clam up like a bivalve at the first sign of stress. But I've been SO so blessed to have an amazing support system back home who, even from miles away, can still seem to reach me here. And I've found an amazing group of people here who put up with my stupid and necessary spazz moments. My faith has strengthened immensely since I've arrived here. And I think I'm okay now. It's just a daunting task, being at the bottom of something so much bigger than yourself. And all you can think is, well, how the heck am I supposed to get all the way up there?! And how long is it going to take?! And when can we stop for a latte?! But like all things, one step at a time. Right?

Right.

What a blessing to be able to spend my days waking up to the (loud) beauties of nature, swimming under star-lit skies, partaking in KFC wing nights, and jotting down my randomly scattered and most personal thoughts to you beautiful people who take the time to read it and support me even when I'm hundreds of miles away.

Wow.

Thank you. I will try my best to keep you posted. Until then, I'd love for you to do the same! I hope you all are doing wonderfully and doing wonderful things. I'm off to enjoy my KFC dinner and study a little bit more.

Love, love. ♥

Thu, 19 Feb 2009 04:28:21 GMT

I don't believe in testing God. I just believe.

My head hasn't been on completely straight these days, though. School has been testing the limits of my sanity, man! And my sense of humor apparently. I feel so unfunny right now it's... not even funny?

Anyway. I prayed this morning and asked Him for a sign. A very specific sign. I just wanted to make sure He's still on my side, you know? And then I brushed it off, quickly realizing how silly I was being and how farfetched it was and yeah. Just silly. He's always on our side.

And then? It happened. What I thought wasn't going to happen, for a split second, did. And it presented itself in the quickest, most random way possible. I'm laughing just thinking about it. What a sense of humor He has.

I'm sure you all are just itching to know what the heck I'm talking about. Or not? Just know that my faith in Him was never lacking. But my head's back on straight now. (Despite the lack of sense in this entry, I swear.)

A better update to follow AFTER my anatomy lab practical. Until then, I hope this finds you all well! ♥

OMG, we have the same shoes.

Fri, 06 Feb 2009 04:29:22 GMT

I knew there was a reason I liked her so much. (Oh and she's pretty talented too, I guess.)

They're my favorite pair of shoes to wear when I play in public. It's given me the mentality that they're the ONLY shoes I can wear when I play in public. I tried wearing new shoes one time at a musicale. I prefer not to talk about that performance though. So...

They're just SO COMFY. I have them with me here. Haven't worn them yet. I don't play much here. (Or, hm. EVER.) Probably a good thing for now since they're about this close to breaking, I'm pretty sure. The part that touches my right heel is completely, just, not on the shoe anymore, and moves around everytime I take a step. The hills around these parts won't help much either. One of the heels will probably give out in the next few wears.

I hope not, though. I really like those shoes.

Morning Elegance

Sun, 01 Feb 2009 03:34:44 GMT

Me for a minute. I only have a minute. BUT, Kinga so kindly sent me this video and it's on its 28th go around as I study. And I thought it highly worth a minute to share with you all if you haven't heard about him yet.

It's beautiful, yes?

You knew this was coming eventually.

Mon, 19 Jan 2009 01:11:15 GMT

I joined a choir here.

Oh, I can't help it. I can't NOT be around music. I always thought I had to choose between the two. But why do I have to? I don't. Right. So I didn't. :)

Singing again makes me so happy. But at the same time, it makes me miss singing back home. I realize, now, that what I had the opportunity to do back in Chicago and who I had the opportunity to sing with can never be replicated. But it isn't supposed to be replicated, I suppose. That's the great thing about music. And the hard part about it too.

In other music related news, I met a girl here named Grace. She's one of my closest friends here on the island. It was kind of serendipitous how we met. My mom and I were a little late arriving to the airport (surprise, surprise) and while we were waiting to check in our bags, I saw this girl and her mom removing things from her suitcase. When flying into Dominica, they're pre-tty strict on the weight limit, so if you're over they'll either make you take things out or have you pay an ASTRONOMICAL fee.

Anyway, her luggage had apparently been a little bit over the weight limit and she had to step out of line to remove some items. I couldn't help but sneak a peek at her open luggage and I saw a stethoscope. I turned to my mom and said, "Do you think she's going to Ross?" Okay, maybe a little far fetched. But I was hoping she was. She looked friendly. And it would've been nice to know a friendly face even before classes started.

When she re-entered the line, she ended up being in front of us. So I asked her. Lo and behold, Ross was exactly where she was headed. Funny how things work out like that.

Anyway, turns out the girl is a musician herself! She plays the guitar and has a gorgeous voice that reminds me a little bit of Norah Jones. She's been in choirs. Half of her DVD collection is made up of musicals. Um, see why we're such good friends already?

She wasn't able to bring her guitar down here but she was able to get a guitar from a 5th semester who recently left the island. And his guitar is now in her possession. I. am. so. STOKED! We're definitely going to use this to unwind on the weekends. Loooove it.

Roosters and cadavers.

Fri, 16 Jan 2009 00:20:07 GMT

I got to dissect a cadaver today. I could tell you how I felt when I first heard we'd be dissecting during our first week (pretty shocked). I could tell you how I felt today and the days leading up to the dissection (pretty stoked). But none of that matters when you actually get in there. All of that goes out the window.

I met my group. Friendly people! Intense people, but this is med school I guess. When are people not intense? We watched a video on the dissection of the back (which is what we did today). It ended up being pretty misleading. Because it was pretty. Too pretty. And clean. Definitely NOT how our dissection ended up. Or anyone's I'm sure.

After the video, we opened the bag and the cadaver was face up. FACE UPPP, guys. Which is pretty WHOA when you aren't expecting it. They should tell us these things!! So we had to turn him over. Man oh man. Man. Oh Man. He was a pretty solid guy, so we had to really get in there to get to all the muscles and nerves and things. To be completely honest, I felt a little bit disconnected from everything I was doing. I still can't believe I just cut a real (albeit dead) human body open. I do believe, though, that I reeked as of 30 minutes ago and am glad I took a shower. And I'm surprisingly hungry. And I still have to study today. I study every day here. It's kind of insane. I don't think I've ever studied this much. Ever. And definitely not last semester, hahahah hmm. Our first mini is three weeks from now, but I'm studying for it like it's tomorrow. What the...

Honestly. If I had studied like this in college I would've had straight A+'s. I also would not have had a social life. Which is how it is now. Which is fine. Because there's nothing else to do here except walk around and make friends with the stray dogs.

By the way, I heard an actual rooster crow this morning. Like, for real for real. I was waiting for the bus, it crowed (the rooster, not the bus) and I laughed (otherwise, I think I would have cried of fear)! Oh Chicago, you're lacking.

Oh yeah, and Chicago? I lied. I miss you and everyone you currently inhabit. Even though you don't have any roosters. :)